Over the Christmas holiday I flew out to visit my family. If you’ve flown in the last 25 years (possibly ever) then you have experienced the mob of people that start congregating as soon as they open the doors to start the boarding process. As they open the doors everyone starts shuffling and merging into a coherent line. Classic zipper merge scenario.
Apparently, in my merging one man had a problem with how I did it. And after he shoulders his way in front of me, he turns around, and says, “you just cut into the line!” Being generally nonconfrontational and in an airport I respond, “’kay.” This was not the profuse apology he wanted so he continued scolding me about proper line etiquette. I let him go and when he stops, I say, “the plane isn’t leaving without all these people on it, we all have assigned seats.” That answer didn’t satisfy him, but we reached the agent and had to get on the plane. In a funny twist I end up having the seat directly in front of his, there I go cutting in front of him again.
The whole interaction made for a slightly uncomfortable start to my trip. Whether I was wrong in this situation or not doesn’t matter. We don’t like being confronted with our sins and shortcomings. It can hurt to be reminded of the things we’ve done wrong. We are disappointed when we realize our present pain is the result of our own past actions.
This is why it is so important to not go on the offensive when we are the ones who must confront someone else’s sin. Galatians 6:1-2 says, “Brothers and sisters, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore them in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted. 2 Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.”
Our goal should be to bring people back into right standing with God and the community. When we yell and berate like airport guy it just becomes about getting our anger out instead of bearing one another’s burdens.
Confrontation can be important, but it must come from a place of love.