Have you ever heard this phrase? “If I knew then what I know now.” It usually refers to how we could have avoided pain or found some benefit if we understood a few things that we didn’t recognize at the time. If I knew I was going to break my leg on the first day of summer, I wouldn’t have run around the pool!
As you get older and look back at your younger self there are going to be times when you will be angry or disappointed at the choices you have made. It’s okay to evaluate your life. It’s okay to have a few things in your past that you regret. What’s not okay is to let those poor choices that happened in the past define who you are in the present.
One of the best examples, in the Bible, of not being defined by your past is that of Paul. At one time he made his living hunting Christians and persecuting them for abandoning the “right way” to worship. God saw him, knew all he had done, and still said, “that’s my guy” I want to use him to help change the world. Psalm 103: 12 says, “as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us” (Transgression just means the things we’ve done wrong). God saw Paul’s potential, God saw the person Paul could be, and God interrupted Paul’s life to spread the message of love and salvation.
This is how God sees you too. We’ve all made mistakes in the past, choices when we know what was right, what was wrong, and knowingly and intentionally chose the wrong. What we need to recognize as we look back on those times is that we can’t change our past, but we can do our best to make the future better.
You are called to try and live like Jesus. This is a pretty high standard. Paul in his letter to the Philippians wrote,
12 Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own.13 Brothers and sisters, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead,14 I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. 15 Let those of us who are mature think this way, and if in anything you think otherwise, God will reveal that also to you. 16 Only let us hold true to what we have attained. (Philippians 3:12-16)
Life can feel like a constant battle between the past-you and the present-you. Sometimes it feels like past-you only leaves problems for present-you. Past-you could have completed the project last week, and now present-you needs to finish in the next two hours. Past-you could have exercised more, past-you could have tried harder in school, and all the other things past-you could have done better.
Thankfully God has forgiven past-you, and I hope you can find a way to do that as well. Past-you was young and dumb and didn’t have the benefit of knowing all the things you know now. Forgiveness does not free us from the consequences of our past choices; however, it can inspire us to not make the same mistakes again.
God forgave you then, God forgives you now, and God is going to forgive you in the future. How can you forgive past-you? What can present-you do to make up for past-you’s mistakes?